You always hear about it and can’t quite believe that second. That nano-second. How it can blow up your whole life.
I’ve had three such instances. 1st the news of my sisters tragic death. Then the car accident. Healthy … that is until those Mohammed Ali airbags sucker punch you back and forth from the steering wheel causing you to suffer concussion and your body to believe it has been beaten by a 2 x 4.
Sometimes it’s a bit difficult to find humor during the urgent moments where 5 nurses and Gymbee and I hold Nicholas as he gets poked, prodded and x-rayed. He was even jabbed 6-7 times because his veins are all so ruptured from a zillion pokes – he barely raises an eyebrow when he’s poked. I just absorb the anxiety and want to scream.. “Find the damn vein already or I’ll do it for you!”
Finally when he’s triaged and we have plan of attack I get out of my psychotic PTSD and remember the only way to deal with it is see the humor.
Gymbee showed me this video and I realized, there has never been a hospital bed that we couldn’t both snuggle in. We’re always packed in like sardines! On the subject of ‘squashed’ Nicholas definitely is a sharing kind of little man. He has recently put on an extra 10 pounds and he kindly gave me a two for one special …so I’m an extra 20 pounds!.
I must hold him when he’s sick, it cures us both. But once again brought to light. We are here now. We can waste our time trying to make a zillion dollars, or small but loved movies, or simply be out driving and a car comes out of nowhere and in a split second can change the course of your destiny. Whatever that may be, it doesn’t much matter.
Nicholas is so loving. So ‘now’. So present. When I hold him the sheer love between our hearts is more magical and healing than anything I know. I guess I should just call ahead and reserve a double bed from now on!